Still. A Case for the Pause
I was chatting with someone over the weekend about the burden on humans and especially, from our perspective as women to be multi-skilled, multi-active, and multi-present. We don't have the luxury of choosing one thing at a time, or at least, society doesn't glorify it. A woman focused on one major life activity at a time is seen as a failure compared to her counterparts doing it all across multiple disciplines.
Ever wondered why digital marketing courses and "make money from the comfort of your home" businesses never run out of buyers? Yet rest, mindfulness retreats, and self-care are still treated as luxuries for the ones who have their life figured out not for the ones actively chasing their dreams.
What a fallacy!
As someone who has studied behavioural management and been actively involved in employee engagement, the data backs this up: individuals are still more likely to choose increased pay over de-stress incentives. And look, I get it, the economy is in shambles and everything is expensive. But here's the thing: it will still be expensive tomorrow, and probably the day after. In consistently deprioritising yourself, you are well on your way to burnout.
“It will still be expensive tomorrow, and probably the day after. In consistently deprioritising yourself, you are well on your way to burnout.”
Burnout – a syndrome of chronic weariness characterised by exhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy – is made up of three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation, and reduced personal accomplishment. Research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology highlights that when we take on multiple independent roles and bow to societal demands that require increasing effort to meet everyday life pressures, we inadvertently experience a rise in psychological and physiological strain that depletes our energy and leads us straight to burnout. The same body of evidence suggests that people with a larger pool of resources are better equipped to meet demands and protect themselves from the kind of accumulated strain that gets us there.
Think about it – an abundance of financial resources reduces the pressure of staying in a job you hate just to make ends meet. You have the option to take time off when you need it. You can explore different ventures without the looming threat of financial ruin. A strong family support network means the weight of raising children isn't yours to carry alone when you're at your wit's end and someone has called "Mummy" one million times in a single afternoon, you can drop the kids off and take a va-staycation until you actually miss them. And a solid foundation of self-awareness means you prioritise rest not as a reward, but because you know that pouring from an empty pot isn't just a paradox, it's a slow erosion of the very energy you need to show up at your best.
But here's the thing, we all need a moment of pause. If in Genesis 1, God could stop to look at everything He had created, call it very good, and rest, why has pausing become a silent whisper instead of a non-negotiable? Why is stillness treated as something we earn rather than something we are designed for?
Don't get me wrong, ambition is not the enemy. I genuinely commend everyone, man and woman, building something across disciplines and across borders. But it is in pausing that we find our footing again, acknowledging how far we've come and re-evaluating the road ahead with clear eyes.
Rest isn't a luxury. It's part of the work.
Now I want to hear from you.
When did you last pause, really pause, without guilt? I'm asking because I needed the reminder too. Let's talk in the comments.
Until next time,
Being. Becoming. Her.
